We always hear people advising us, forgive them, let's move on.. I also passed through such situation & I thought is it really easy to forgive someone?? As we all are human being & no one is perfect we always do mistakes. We can easily forget day to day mistakes, can do lets go there..as they don’t impact on our life or feelings for long but what if our feelings, trust got shattered by someone near & dear? For me when it comes to feelings, it is really hard, a word `sorry’ can heel all the pain & shattered feelings?? No definitely not. May be, person who is asking for forgiveness by using this word can feel relax but not that person whom they bothered by their deeds. I usually ask myself what is the meaning of forgiveness?? Just to say it's ok or something more than that, after forgiving someone can we really feel peace without any hard feeling??
Basically forgiveness means after forgiving someone no hard feelings for that person accept them with same love, trust and move forward in life.
When my kid do some mistake and say sorry I forgive, as I know there is no intention to give pain or bother anyone but yeah I always teach her don’t use word 'sorry' as weapon as one can tolerate your mistakes for once or twice not always & the meaning of sorry is not to repeat that again as soon as realize your mistakes, don’t take word sorry for granted, otherwise you will lose faith, but what about us, sometimes we do some deeds repeatedly even the person whom we are hurting is trying hard to giving wake-up call while doing, we don’t think how it will impact on us or our beloved one, at that time we leave our conscious behind and our ego starts driving everything, we realized one day ask for forgiveness, the person who is shattered say it’s ok as they don’t want us to feel the same pain, they don’t want to shatter us in anyways, they don’t want to go in deep memories as still those memories bother them ..
Can we forgive ourselves? What about that guilt, pain which our conscious is taking after realizing what we did? True, we can’t look in our eyes we can’t face our beloved one. One of my friend asked me same, I said regret is the best remedy in this situation; they looked with surprise asked what?? People always say don’t regret it gives disappointment & wasting time on past & you are saying me to do regret?? I said yes they are right at their place as if we are expressing regret only by our words but not by our learning & deeds, it’s just wasting time over past & taking disappointments by lingering on issue, pain of what happened is inevitable but to control that is only in our hand, by making our response similar to our feelings we experienced, by meeting distance between saying & doing.
When we hurt someone, we say sorry but sorry can't fulfill whatever they lost, their self respect, shattered feelings & above all trust, may be by saying sorry, we get forgiveness but not same trust. Whenever that person meet us they will always think can I trust this person the same way I did before & it will remind them all the pain they tolerated as sorry can’t remove scares, if we like to gain someone heart and trust again, give place to our consciousness by leaving ego, make them happy by our act, a single smile on their face can change a lot, just make them realize sorry is not only a word but it carries a lot in itself, their love, smile and peace matters a lot to our peace. Every time we will see our beloved is smiling we will feel relaxed & peaceful & this little step will take us to their heart by passing through the bridge of trust isn’t it??